Put down another person:

The Consequences & The Transformation

Works of Ven Thubten Chodron

Vietnamese translation: QUANG TRI

" T O pray do not speak our faults k Hao "... In the Buddhist tradition, this is one of the Bodhisattva vows. For monks ordained, a similar principle mentioned in the vows is not slander. This was also mentioned in the Buddha's advice for everyone to avoid the 10 unwholesome, that is unwholesome Thursday: saying the words causing discord and division.

Many people have a habit likes to say other people's mistakes. And sometimes they do not notice the habits and only recognize it after they finished talking. So the engine behind the mistakes of others say, behind the trend to lower the other? One of my enlightened master, Mr. Ngawang Dhargye once said: " You sit down together and talk about the faults of another person, for the wrongdoing of the person. Then you continue to discuss the faults and negative qualities of others, because you yourself admit that you are together the best people in the world CAMRY i ".

When I look deep inside, I noticed that he was right Ngawang Dhargye. Be tempered by feelings of insecurity, I thought that if someone else wrong wrong, bad, full of flaws, as a comparison, I must be right, good and capable. C humiliate others donate art to build self-esteem in this way is very difficult to design t result.

We are angry at other people is bad when we used to say them. In this case we can say the fault of someone else for a few different reasons. Sometimes we talk badly of others to pull people on their side. We think that if we told everyone about it with the argument between Mr. A and then convince people that he and his A wrong properly. Thus, people will stand on our side. Because the thought that: " If people think its true then it must be true ". The self-correct thought I was such a poor job when we do not take the time to honestly evaluate the work and for our engine.

Sometimes we talk badly of others because we hate them. We want people to respect and appreciate each other as such. From the depth of our thinking, " If people see the bad qualities of someone you think is better, instead of their respect and help that person, they would praise and support her . " Chi If all that we used to win the respect and appreciation of others in this way is very hard to bring hi -effective.

Defame others bring what consequences? First, we will be known as a common cause dissonance. People will not want to talk with us because they are afraid that we'll talk with others, further strengthen our reviews words cause them to be seen is not good. According to personal experience, I noticed that the or slander any person other than me, they must inevitably go bad I say to others. In other words, I do not trust those who often criticize others.

Second, we must deal with bad people we say when they find out what we have said, and more annoying is when they hear what we have said bad things about him that has be magnified many times. person can tell others about their faults in retaliation.

Third, some people may be excited to hear about other people's errors . For example, if a person in the office or in the factory who talk behind other people in the workplace may be angry and aggressive people were gossiping. This can be raised the others talking back at work and causing factionalism. This causes damage to a work environment harmony with.

Wednesday, ourselves nor always happy when I expose the faults of others. When we focus on the negative points, or mistakes, our own mind is not happy. The thought that this bad, the other is not good, ... usually not good for our spirit.

Thursday, kh i say another bad news is that we have caused to others agents to defame her . This can occur in this life if we want to humiliate his critics, or may occur in the future when their charges by others for a lost way or is being framed. When we hear those words are vulgar, we should remember that it is the result of our own actions, we have created human, now it's time to get results. We have caused the negative in the universe and in his mind, now it back to us. No reason to be angry or blaming someone else when we are the creators of the causes primarily for his trouble .

However, there are a number of cases seems to be saying, but the fault of others is necessary, it said. Although these cases are very similar to the criticism of others, but in reality they are not the same. The difference here is what? That is our motivation. Tell other people's errors usually malicious in and often motivated by selfish motives. The ego of us want to get something from the slander of others, it'd be possible by defaming others. Conversely, legitimate discussion about the faults of others likely to come from the help and attention loving care, we want to clarify the situation, prevent harm, or that want to help. For example, when we have to write letters of recommendation for someone that he is not very good, we must be truthful, to mention the advantages and disadvantages to his future employer or Their owner can decide if he or she can do what they want or not. Similarly, we can be upfront about the habits of someone to warn of the risk of problems occurring. In either case, our motivation is not to criticize others, nor to further strengthen the things that they do not have. We just wanted to give an express non-biased about what we can see only.

Sometimes we suspect that our view of the negative of someone who may be limited, with prejudice, so I told a friend that you do not know anything about the other person, but you can help us see other aspects. This gives us the ideas, views are constructive, positive and help us know how to behave with other people. Our friends can also tell us that their nodes - the resistance and the sensitive issue - the things that I'm exaggerating about the weaknesses of others, so that we can adjusted accordingly.

Sometimes we are confused about what others should have a friend - a friend of his and he - for further advice on the circumstances, and from which to evaluate, to deal with them appropriately reasons. Or are we in contact with a person you suspect they have problems, so I turn to the consultants to know how to deal with that person. In either case, we must tell the person or an expert you hear about the problems, the possible failure of others, but our motivation is to help them and want to solve the difficulty.

In another case, one of his acquaintances may not know is that they are acts that hurt others or behaving in a way humiliate others. To protect him from disaster due to unwise their own cause, we can tell them clearly what they do. Here we are told not to voice criticism or judgmental attitude that is said to love, to point out mistakes or errors of that person to then he can fix.

Notice ng often has a habit of the faults of others. To give up this habit, we must start from the adjustment of assessment practices to others. T or for evaluation, critique others, let us heed the good qualities and kindness of others. We need to train your mind, just look at the good, positive things of others. Train like it will make the difference between happiness and open and loving with our grief, inaccessible and demanding.

We should try to cultivate the habit of paying attention to good things, lovable, valuable in others. If we notice things that we would not heed their mistakes. Cheerful demeanor and words derived from the tolerance will improve and people will be raised around happiness, contentment and love in us. Therefore, the quality of our lives depend on us to find fault with his experience or what is good in it.

When we see other people's mistakes is that we miss the opportunity to love. It also means that we can not afford to feed themselves properly with the cordial understanding as we bring to mind the toxin. When we have a habit of tattoo inspired the faults of others, we also tend to see only the flaws, mistakes yourself. This can lead us to reduce the value of their entire life. It is tragic if we ignore the precious things and opportunities in their lives, not seeing the potential to become Buddha themselves. So, we have to accept yourself as what you have in the present, and we try to become better human future. This does not mean that we ignore their mistakes, but we are not too disparaging about them. They made ​​me glad I who, confident of their ability and confidence about the true value that we have to build before na y.

Open the person i want to be loved - to get people to pay attention and acknowledge the positive aspects of themselves, and religious'd be interested inn ng. Most of us do not like being judged, criticized and rejected. Cultivate the habit of seeing the good of themselves and of others that could bring themselves and their happiness, it allows us to feel and expanded love. From habit of looking that mistakes will reduce the suffering for himself and cereals i. This issue should be the focus in the roadmap of our spirituality. Because of this reason that the Dalai Lama has said: " My religion is kindness . " We can still see what's incomplete and of others, but gentler than our mind, to accept and more generous.

Opposed to putting down others is to tell the understanding and love. Those who are on the spiritual route and those who want to live in harmony with others, the spokesman for the understanding and love is very important. When we look at the good qualities of others, they I feel happy. The recognition of the good qualities of others makes my heart happy, it also creates an atmosphere of harmony and bring to others useful feedback.

Kh en praise others is something that we should practice in the course of his practice. If we think of the talent, the good qualities of others, we feel happier and others you also have g so. We will create good relationships with others, and our families, work environments and living situations of harmony than we will. We sow the seeds from the aggressive behavior was in his mind, we will create for the causal relationship and for the peaceful achievement of the purposes as well as spiritual purposes in live life normally.

Ven Thubten Chodron (in French Van - Canada)

END=VIETNAMESE TRANSLATE ENGLISH BY BACH LIEN HOA.( TAM THANH ).MHDT.11/5/2012.NAM MO SHAKYAMUNI BUDDHA.( 3 TIMES ).